Juy2009
‘There was an old man called Michael Finnegan. He grew whiskers on his chinegan. The wind came out and blew them in again. Poor old Michael Finnegan – begin again!’ So the children’s song goes and, when combined with, ‘This Old Man’, can continue for ages, being repeated turn and turn about seemingly forever. So with life – repetition, repetition, repetition – day in, day out until one can feel dizzy with the sameness of each day, month or year*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Yet, for a toddler, the constant repetitions of life are the basis on which learning takes place. The routine, the sameness, all add to solidarity and security required by every child as a means to aid development. Many years ago TV & newspaper reports concerning children in Romanian orphanages, who were denied developmental routines in their lives, told of disturbed behaviour and lack of quality of life.
It is interesting to see toddlers playing happily alongside others, completely unaware of those around. At a later stage of development they may find themselves communicating with another as they play alongside for a short while before returning to solitary mode, indicating the ability to exclude others from their sightline without being offensive, changing gear into inclusive mode then recreating their exclusion zone. They may even poke each other or hit each other over the head with a toy as they make these constant changes of state, usually without bearing malice or continuing the exclusion/inclusion theme for long – although adult intervention sometimes creates this. They accept that this is a way of life – at times working or playing together and at times existing as a seemingly solitary unit.
So, when in our lives do we develop the ‘ability’ to form exclusive or inclusive societies? How do we develop these traits – is it through inherent genes or is it learned behaviour from those around us? I suppose that if we are included within a group or choose to exclude or be excluded then life is fine. If we’re on the receiving end of someone else’s decision to exclude us, then life is not too good. When we feel excluded is it because we are being left out and ignored or is it due, perhaps, to our own over-sensitivity or state of physical or emotional health at a given time? We humans are a funny bunch!
Many, many years ago my Frank and I learned a valuable lesson from our elder son, he being at the ripe old age of 4. We asked him about a little boy in his Reception class. ‘Which is he?’ asked our son. ‘The little brown boy,’ we replied. Interestingly, our son hadn’t noticed that Trevor was different from himself. Many, many years later when our son married a lovely lady of a different race, we were surprised when people queried her ‘difference.’ We have learned that people are precious whatever their colour, creed, culture, language. Who are we to exclude or make assumptions? Perhaps the world would be a kinder place if we all strived to be more inclusive – both abroad, but especially, in our own little corner of this wonderful world.
Val Butterworth