The Marriage Service
Please arrive on time, allowing time for photos, so that others involved in the service are not kept waiting.
Pastoral Introduction
This may be printed in your Order of Service to be read by those present before the ceremony begins.
A wedding is one of life’s great moments, a time of solemn commitment as well as good wishes, feasting and joy. St John tells us how Jesus shared in such an occasion at Cana, and gave there a sign of new beginnings as he turned water into wine.
Marriage is intended by God to be a creative relationship, as his blessing enables husband and wife to love and support each other in good times and in bad, and to share in the care and upbringing of children. For Christians, marriage is also an invitation to share life together in the spirit of Jesus Christ. It is based upon a solemn, public and life-long covenant between a man and a woman, declared and celebrated in the presence of God and before witnesses.
On this their wedding day the bride and bridegroom face each other, make their promises and receive God’s blessing. You are witnesses of the marriage, and express your support by your presence and your prayers. Your support does not end today: The couple will value continued encouragement in the days and years ahead of them.
The Welcome
The minister welcomes the people. This sentence may be used:
God is love, and those who live in love live in God and God lives in them. 1 John 4.16
Hymn [This will be the first of either two or three which you can choose for the service]
We have come together in the presence of God, to witness the marriage of N and N, to ask his blessing on them, and to share in their joy. Our Lord Jesus Christ was himself a guest at a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and through his Spirit he is with us now.
The Bible teaches us that marriage is a gift of God in creation and a means of his grace, a holy mystery in which man and woman become one flesh. It is God’s purpose that, as husband and wife give themselves to each other in love throughout their lives, they shall be united in that love as Christ is united with his Church.
Marriage is given, that husband and wife may comfort and help each other, living faithfully together in need and in plenty, in sorrow and in joy. It is given, that with delight and tenderness they may know each other in love, and, through the joy of their bodily union, may strengthen the union of their hearts and lives. It is given as the foundation of family life in which children may be born and nurtured in accordance with God’s will, to his praise and glory.
In marriage husband and wife belong to one another, and they begin a new life together in the community. It is a way of life that all should honour; and it must not be undertaken carelessly, lightly, or selfishly, but reverently, responsibly, and after serious thought.
This is the way of life, created and hallowed by God, that N and N are now to begin. They will each give their consent to the other; they will join hands and exchange solemn vows, and in token of this they will [each] give and receive a ring.
Therefore, on this their wedding day we pray with them, that, strengthened and guided by God, they may fulfil his purpose for the whole of their earthly life together.
The Declarations
The minister says to the congregation. First, I am required to ask anyone present who knows a reason why these persons may not lawfully marry, to declare it now.
The minister says to the couple. The vows you are about to take are to be made in the presence of God, who is judge of all and knows all the secrets of our hearts; therefore if either of you knows a reason why you may not lawfully marry, you must declare it now.
The minister says to the bridegroom N, will you take N to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?
He answers: I will.
The minister says to the bride, N will you take N to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?
She answers: I will.
The minister says to the congregation. Will you, the families and friends of N and N, support and uphold them in their marriage now and in the years to come?
All: We will.
The Marriage
The couple stand before the minister.
Who brings this N to be married to N? [choose whether you want the ‘giving away’ to be included or omitted]
The Vows [you can repeat them after the priest, read them from a large print card held by him ... or learn them by heart - he will prompt you if you falter]
The minister introduces the vows
N and N, I now invite you to join hands and make your vows, in the presence of God and his people. The bride and bridegroom face each other. The bridegroom takes the bride’s right hand in his, and says:
I, N, take you, N, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.
They loose hands. The bride takes the bridegroom’s right hand in hers, and says:
I, N, take you, N, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.
They loose hands.
The Giving of Rings
he minister receives the rings, and says: Heavenly Father, by your blessing, let these rings be to N and N a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, to remind them of the vow and covenant which they have made this day through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All: Amen.
The bridegroom places the ring on the fourth finger of the bride’s left hand and, holding it there, says N, I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. They loose hands and the bride places a ring on the fourth finger of the bridegroom’s left hand and, holding it there, says N, I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
The Proclamation
The minister addresses the people. In the presence of God, and before this congregation, N and N have given their consent and made their marriage vows to each other. They have declared their marriage by the joining of hands and by the giving and receiving of rings. I therefore proclaim that they are husband and wife. They kneel and the priest joins their right hands together and says: Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder.
The Blessing of the Marriage
All praise and blessing to you, God of love, for you have created courtship and marriage, joy and gladness, feasting and laughter, pleasure and delight. May your blessing come in full upon N and N. May they know your presence in their joys and in their sorrows. May they reach old age in the company of friends, and come at last to your eternal kingdom, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All: Amen.
The minister says to the couple:
God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, bless, preserve and keep you; the Lord mercifully grant you the riches of his grace, that you may please him both in body and soul, and, living together in faith and love, may receive the blessings of eternal life.
All: Amen.
The couple stand and may embrace or kiss if they so desire. The congregation will be encouraged to clap.
The Candle Ceremony
Reading/s
Choose a bible reading. There are some suggestions below. In addition, you can add another reading, from the bible or elsewhere, or a poem. Please ask for a book of suggestions if you want to think about this option but do not know what to choose.
Short Address
Hymn – during which bride and groom follow the priest to the High Altar (This will be the second hymn you have chosen whether you have chosen two or three hymns).
Prayers
[You can choose prayers listed below and/or choose prayers from elsewhere, or you can write your own.]
The prayers conclude with the Lord’s Prayer.
Either A:
All: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours now and for ever. Amen.
OR B:
All: Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.
Blessing
Hymn [This will be the third hymn if you have chosen three, otherwise no hymn is sung here and the registration follows the Blessing]
Registration
Registration of the Marriage [parents, best man and bridesmaids join us at the High Altar. You will need to decide which two people to ask to sign the registers as witnesses]
Possible Bible Readings:
Psalm 23 Psalm 121
Ruth
Romans 8: 31-35, 37– 39
1 Corinthians 13
Ephesians 3: 14 – end
Colossians 3: 12—17
Matthew 5: 1– 10
John 2: 1– 11
John 15: 9-17
Sirach 6:5-18
... or any others you may wish to choose A selection of Prayers
A.
Heavenly Father, we thank you that in our earthly lives you speak to us of your eternal life: we pray that through their marriage N and N may know you more clearly, love you more dearly and follow you more nearly, day by day; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All: Amen.
B.
Heavenly Father, maker of all things, you enable us to share in your work of creation. Bless this couple in the gift and care of children, that their home may be a place of love, security and truth, and their children grow up to know and love you in your Son Jesus Christ our Lord.
All: Amen.
C.
Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, who shared at Nazareth the life of an earthly home: reign in the home of these your servants as Lord and King; give them grace to minister to others as you have ministered to them, and grant that by deed and word they may be witnesses of your saving love to those among whom they live; for the sake of your holy name.
All: Amen.
D.
Faithful God, holy and eternal, source of life and spring of love, we thank and praise you for bringing N and N to this day, and we pray for them. Lord of life and love.
All: hear our prayer.
May their marriage be life-giving and life-long, enriched by your presence and strengthened by your grace; may they bring comfort and confidence to each other in faithfulness and trust. Lord of life and love.
All: hear our prayer.
May the hospitality of their home bring refreshment and joy to all around them; may their love overflow to neighbours in need and embrace those in distress. Lord of life and love.
All: hear our prayer.
May they discern in your word order and purpose for their lives; and may the power of your Holy Spirit lead them in truth and defend them in adversity. Lord of life and love.
All: hear our prayer.
May they nurture their family with devotion, see their children grow in body, mind and spirit and come at last to the end of their lives with hearts content and in joyful anticipation of heaven. Lord of life and love.
All: hear our prayer.
E.
Almighty God, look graciously on the world which you have made and for which your Son gave his life. Bless all whom you make one flesh in marriage. May their life together be a sign of your love to this broken world, so that unity may overcome estrangement, forgiveness heal guilt, and joy overcome despair. Lord, in your mercy.
All: hear our prayer.
May N and N so live together that the strength of their love may reflect your love and enrich our common life. Lord, in your mercy.
All: hear our prayer.
May they be gentle and patient, ready to trust each other, and, when they fail, willing to recognize and acknowledge their fault and to give and receive forgiveness. Lord, in your mercy.
All: hear our prayer.
[May N and N be blessed with the gift of children. Fill them with wisdom and love as they care for their family. Lord, in your mercy.
All: hear our prayer.]
May the lonely, the bereaved, and all who suffer want or anxiety, be defended by you, O Lord. Lord, in your mercy.
All: hear our prayer.
May those whose lives are today brought together be given wisdom, patience and courage to serve one another in Christ’s name. Lord, in your mercy.
All: hear our prayer.
May friends and family gathered here, and those separated by distance, be strengthened and blessed this day. Lord, in your mercy.
All: hear our prayer.
We praise you, merciful God, for those who have died in the faith of Christ. May we be strengthened by their example. Almighty God, you have promised to hear our prayers.
All: Grant that what we have asked in faith we may by your grace receive, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
F.
God of all grace, friend and companion, look in favour on N and N, and all who are made one in marriage. In your love deepen their love and strengthen their wills to keep the promises they have made, that they may continue in life-long faithfulness to each other; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All: Amen.
G.
Almighty God, you send your Holy Spirit to be the life and light of all your people. Open the hearts of these your servants to the riches of his grace, that they may bring forth the fruit of the Spirit in love and joy and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All: Amen.
H.
Faithful God, giver of all good things, give N and N wisdom and devotion in the ordering of their life together. May they dwell together in love and peace all the days of their life, seeking one another’s welfare, bearing one another’s burdens, and sharing one another’s joys; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All: Amen.
I.
Eternal God, without your grace nothing is strong, nothing is sure. Strengthen N and N with patience, kindness, gentleness, and all other gifts of the Holy Spirit, so that they may fulfil the vows they have made. Keep them faithful to each other and to you. Fill them with such love and joy that they may build a home of peace and welcome. Make their life together a sign of Christ’s love in this broken world, that unity may overcome estrangement, forgiveness heal guilt, and joy conquer despair; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All: Amen
J.
God of all grace and goodness, we thank you for this new family, and for everything parents and children have to share; by your Spirit of peace draw them together and help them to be true friends to one another. Let your love surround them and your care protect them, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All: Amen.
K.
Loving God, you are merciful and forgiving. Grant that those who are suffering the hurts of the past may experience your generous love. Heal their memories, comfort them, and send them all from here renewed and hopeful; in Jesus Christ our Lord.
All: Amen
L.
God our creator, we thank you for your gift of sexual love by which husband and wife may delight in each other and share with you the joy of creating new life. By your grace may N and N remain lovers, rejoicing in your goodness all their days.
All: Amen
Hymns
Some hymns you might like to consider,please ask to borrow copies of hymn books — the choice of hymns is yours but do remember that well known tunes make singing easier.
A new commandment
Amazing grace
Be still for the presence of the Lord
Be thou my vision
Blessing the marriage (to Sussex carol)
Bridegroom and bride (to Slane)
Christ is the king,
O friends rejoice
Come down O love divine
Dear lord and Father of mankind
Father I place into your hands
For the beauty of the earth
God beyond glory (to Morning has broken)
God is love (sing aloud loud loud)
Gracious Spirit Holy Ghost
Great is thy faithfulness
Guide me O thou great redeemer
He who would valiant be
I danced in the morning
Immortal invisible Immortal love
In heavenly love abiding
Jesus shall reign where’er the sun
King of glory, king of peace
Kum ba yah
Lead us, heavenly Father lead us
Let all the world in every corner sing
Let us with a gladsome mind
Lord and lover of creation
Lord for the years
Lord of all hopefullness
Lord of all loving (to Morning has broken)
Love divine Love is his word, love is his way
Make me a channel of your peace
Morning has broken
My song is love unknown
New every morning is the love
Now thank we all our
God
Now the green blade riseth
O for a thousand tongues to sing
O Jesus I have promised
O Lord all the world belongs to you
O Lord my God when I in awesome wonder
O love that wilt not let me go
O perfect love all human love transcending
O praise ye the Lord
O the deep deep love of Jesus
O thou who camest from above
O worship the king
O worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness
One more step along the world I go
Praise my soul the king of heaven
Rejoice the lord is king
Shine Jesus, shine
Sing Hosannah
Spirit of God as strong as the wind
Spirit of the living God fall afresh on me
Teach me my God and king in all things thee to see
Tell out my soul
The King of love my shepherd is
The Lord’s my shepherd
The perfect peace of God
There’s a wideness in God’s mercy T
o God be the glory When all thy mercies
You shall go out with joy
It is VITAL that you contact the organist, Jack Cornall, in good time before the wedding to discuss the music you want to have. There will be the opportunity to meet Jack after a Sunday service and he can help you in making your choice. Please be in touch with him at least two months before the ceremony.
There may be other things that you wish to consider as part of the service e.g. having Communion, a soloist, string quartet, a steel band, a friend or relative taking part, reception in church or even Morris Dancers – yes we have had them in the past! Whatever your ideas please do not be afraid to discuss them with the rector and we will do our best to include them, after all it is your wedding!